Andrew has taken it upon himself to make up his own rules about certain things. For example he might get up one morning and inform me that he cannot behave while the sun is up... or that he can only breath while Scooby Doo is on TV not some other show... and my personal favorite is that he can only wipe his butt at school but not at home (you have no idea how much this one pleases me...NOT). Anyway... this happened a few months ago but note worthy all the same.
To set the scene...
Andrew had recently overheard a conversation that I had with Patrick on the phone concerning him getting home from work late. We had some place to be and I told him to hurry up and get home or I was going to go "postal"...thinking that was a good universal code for "I am about to open a can of whoop-ass and my patience are limited" and a therefore avoiding the use of expletives around the kids. So jump ahead a few days and I hear Andrew in the bathroom screaming at the top of his lungs...
Andrew: Moooooommmmmm COME WIPE MY BUTT!!!
Me: Andrew I am busy... you can either wipe it yourself or wait for just a minute.
Andrew: MOM...IF YOU DON'T COME WIPE MY BUTT RIGHT NOW... I'M...I'M...I'M... GOING TO THE POST OFFICE!
Ok at this point I about wet my pants I was laughing so hard.